Trust is tough but worth pursuing

Hello again.

Can you believe the weather we are having? I can’t believe we are having summer temperatures in FALL! I also can’t believe that Christmas stuff is showing up at Costco already. It seems earlier and earlier every year. We haven’t even had Halloween!

Either way, another month has gone by and yes….. you are receiving the 2nd edition of my “rant” which has been renamed “Inspirational Corner”. Trust me, eventually I will give you a choice of subscribing to this or not, but for now, all you can do is delete it.

Last month, I spoke about Better Connecting and I receive some encouraging emails from many of you about how this perspective can help you. Sounds like it resonated with some of you and for that I’m thankful. I enjoy hearing about how I can have a positive impact on others. Hopefully, the positive side outweighs the negative side. LOL

This month, I would like to talk about Trust. Trust is an easy thing to talk about, but can be tough in practice. Some will say that trust is earned and others will say “I will trust you until you prove otherwise”. In either case, trust doesn’t really happen. That being said, there are times when I have experienced both of these situations and “trust me”, I came up with lots of excuses like:

–       He’s a good person, but he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know, so how can I trust that person?
–       Well, tell me the entire story and help me understand it… then I’ll trust you…. Maybe….. unless I disagree with you.
–       I’m too busy to get involved with that, but I don’t think they are on the right track
–       I think you are in it for yourself and you do not put others before you.
–       You want to do what? Well ok…. Let’s give it a try…..
–       Just let me do it and you will see.
–       It’ll never be done as good as I can do it…..

Sound familiar to some of us?

Yes, I can go on with many of my opportunities for improvement, but I realized that my challenges are very common in and out of our ESW family. It wasn’t until this summer that I learned a very important lesson about “TRUST” and it was on the golf course.

I have been working at breaking 90 in my golf game and a friend/co-worker/golf instructor (whom I don’t pay …..of course) has been giving me little pieces of information about improving my game. I made the comment that he should give me all the info —  Don’t hold back! Just give me the entire program and I’ll manage. We’ll my game never consistently improved over the last 4 years despite my continual prodding for more and more information. After all, what does he know?

Well, he does know something – he has continually shot in the 70’s and I NEVER have.

I realized this year that Trust is about surrendering yourself to the process. Sometimes, I can’t process all the information that is given to me, so asking for it doesn’t really matter….. in fact….. it is detrimental to me. I get so much information that I don’t even start the journey! Do you know what made the different this year for me????….. it came down to my first lesson 4 years ago about “how to hold a golf club”. I finally surrendered to the process of being coached for golf. I started to concentrate on the simple fundamentals of holding a golf club and swinging from the inside out. Now, I have some better and more consistent success.

So, do I “Trust” my friend/co-worker/golf instructor now? The honest answer is probably not fully (LOL) and yes that is my ego at play. But I can say that I am surrendering myself to his process more and more these days.

As Graham states, it’s about the journey. Trust is tough but I think the question we all have to ask ourselves at home, at work, when dealing with kids, clients, partners, vendors, etc…… is CAN WE SURRENDER ourselves to the experience.

Here are a couple of book summaries that might help you in this Trust journey. After all, without Trust, how can we become a TEAM?

Book 1: “The 5 dysfunctions of a team”: many of you may have read this popular book that talks about Trust as a foundation for teambuilding.

Book 2: “The Trusted Advisor”: a reputation we’d like to earn.

Have an awesome day and make a difference!


Leadership Quote of the Month: “Leadership is a serving relationship that has the effect of facilitating human development.” — Ted Ward


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